Have you ever experienced a conversation in which words were sharper than a knife or reassuring like a warm smile? Words convey an intrinsic power and, in some cases, have long-lasting effects on both the sender and the receiver of the message.
Each message transmitted to us, by us, or existing in our own train of thought, carries personal feelings toward a situation. Such feelings can be positive or negative. Being mindful of the effects of expressing positive language to us and to others (even if you do not agree), we empower ourselves and cultivate our mental well-being.
Examples
Positive language can be employed in setting boundaries without having to use negative words or remarks. We set limits by focusing on what we want out of a situation instead of using words such as not, don’t, shouldn’t and can’t. By doing so we avoid blame and focus on the responsibility of our actions. That sense of responsibility allows us to show up differently and communicate in a clearer manner.
Employing positive language shifts the perception of a problem and automatically broadens the possibilities to solve it. As Albert Einstein mentioned “we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them”. Therefore by shifting the perception, an array of possible solutions suddenly becomes available.
Positive statements help us remain focused and committed while reducing the ambiguity of a situation. Such commitment gives a sense of attainability and motivation, therefore experiencing the situation in a pleasant form.
Disempowering vs. Empowering Words
To put this into practice we can start by becoming aware of disempowering words and replace them with more empowering ones. Here is a list you can start with:
| Disempowering Words | Empowering Words |
| Don’t | Do |
| I should | I want to |
| I don’t want | I prefer |
| Always | Sometimes |
| I hope / I believe | I know |
| Need to / Desire to | I choose to |
So next time you talk inwardly or to others, try expressing yourself in positive terms and avoid being pessimistic, that way you set boundaries and communicate clearly, and you shift the perception of a problem. You create a more comfortable and unambiguous situation.
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